u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
