margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he thought i was a dude.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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