This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
