But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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