Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
