i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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