Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
