Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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