just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
