it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
