found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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