I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it hurts more in the daytime
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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