U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
