I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I think I sprained my soul last night
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
