Non-Jews are for practice
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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