in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
