Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
