the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
