Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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