Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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