so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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