Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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