This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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