go do what you do best...puke behind churches
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
