508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
