If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize