listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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