when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
