Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Randomize