Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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