your room smells of hookers.
And success
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
