This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
