i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
