Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
