He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
