it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize