yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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