someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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