Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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