we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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