As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize