I wish you could order shots online.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
