DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
