All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
