what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
