Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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