Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I have demons in me.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
