The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
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