We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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