I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
