White coat. Heels.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I came so hard my ears popped.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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