So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
