i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
