Cold hands, warm shart.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
