i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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