dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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