it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
