If i come over, it means nothing
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
