Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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