your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
