He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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