He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
