also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
