Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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