Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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