After last night, I could never be a politician.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
