she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
