i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
