The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
