I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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