You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
