her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
